Verzeih Mir
by Thing2BK
Summary: Post Winter War, Finland's taken a serious beating to ensure his victory against Russia. But his closest ally at the time did nothing to help, and now the guilt weighs heavily on his shoulders. An apology is in order. Sequel-ish to Sisu


"Sir? He's just woken up. You can go see him now if you'd like."

Ludwig looks up at the nurse with a grateful smile, and stands up with a stretch before following her to the room, so much like all the others. There was nothing special about the uniform white walls and plastic chairs. Nothing that could possibly identify the very unique person who lay inside.

"Finland, how are you doing?" He asks out of courtesy. He can easily see the extent of the nation's wounds from fighting Russia. One arm is in a sling, and there are multiple cuts all over his pale skin, several of which had been stitched until he looks like something out of a horror movie.

Still, he smiles brightly at the other's appearance in the doorway. "I've told you to call me Tino before. Or aren't we friends?"

"I can't be a very good one, to have let you get hurt this badly without raising a finger."

In some ways, Tino is a lot like Feliciano. It was impossible to set the right mood with either of them. Here Germany was, wanting a serious moment to apologize for the actions of his nation, and Finland sat there laughing brightly. "This is nothing! You should see Ivan!"

Another way the two were similar. Their smiles and laughter were so contagious. "Yes, I've heard he isn't doing so well."

"So, I know you probably don't know, but have you heard anything about my people? How are they doing?"

Ludwig had indeed seen the Finnish people. They were hit pretty hard, but far from broken. If anything, they were doing better than ever, morale-wise. "I couldn't say." He mumbles lamely.

As Finland nods in understanding, the nurse returns to the room. "I'm sorry sir, but visiting hours are almost over, you'll have to go."

"I suppose it can't be helped. You did sleep for quite a while." The German replies, getting to his feet. "I'll be back tomorrow, bright and early, alright?"

Tino nodded, and flashes another cheerful smile. "See you then."

And as he leaves, Ludwig realizes he didn't really apologize.

{}}{{}

The next day, Ludwig returns to the hospital as promised, this time carrying a thin wooden box under his arm. When Tino questions it, he holds it out with a smile. "I thought you'd be wanting something to do, so I brought a chess board."

The blond brightens, and sits up eagerly. "I used to play with Berwald all the time before…" He trails off, but Ludwig doesn't need to hear it.

_Before he realized you weren't weak enough to be his underling._

_Before his pride stopped him from reaching out when you needed it._

_Before he abandoned you from behind a wall of neutrality._

"I don't think there are any rule changes between our nations, so there shouldn't be a problem."

Tino nods, and opens the box to start pulling out pieces. "White or black?"

Without thinking, Ludwig picks white. He's so used to Gilbert kicking up a fuss if he has to play with the 'innocent' pieces, saying they wreck his image, and that he doesn't really need to go first to win. When he notices this, he turns red, realizing that it looks like he wanted the advantage. But then Finland starts laughing again.

"Good, I like black."

As they play, they talk about the war, something Germany was surprised that Tino would ever want to discuss. The worst has only begun, now that troops are emerging from both sides. Ludwig asks about what happened during the months he'd been fighting Russia, and Tino is more than happy to tell his war stories, another surprise.

Before thirty minutes have passed, Finland has the younger nation cornered. Triumphant, he sits back with a grin. "Once this is all over, we should get together more often to play."

"Any time." He promises. "Now, Tino, I had something to tell you. It's about these past few months…" Before he can finish, a young man in a military uniform hurries into the room, looking out of breath. "_This had better be important_." Ludwig growls in German, irritated at being interrupted a second time.

The man snaps a salute, and begins to make what sounds to Finland to be a report. He doesn't understand a word of German, but it doesn't sound like good news, based on Ludwig's expression.

"I'm sorry, I have to go."

"Don't be sorry. I'll be here for awhile anyway."

Germany smiles as he puts on his cap. "Take good care of the chess set until I get back. This shouldn't take long, so I should be back tomorrow. "

{}}{{}

Ludwig doesn't come back the next day. Finland waits in the room, pacing, now that the doctors have allowed him to get up from the bed, and occasionally pulling out the chessboard to practice some patterns.

His boss visits, and tells him that they'll be sitting down with the Russian officials in two days' time to decide the outcome of the war. Finland just smiles, and says he'll be there. "We already know that, don't we?" He adds with a hint of pride.

His boss chuckles, and nods. As he turns to leave, he asks, "Germany's representative has been by, correct?"

"Yes, just yesterday. Why?"

"Just hoping he got a chance to see what happens when you leave an ally to face someone like Russia alone before your wounds healed."

Tino's smile vanishes in an instant. "It's not right to blame him for his leader's mistakes. If we all did that, none of us would be able to last as long as we have."

"I suppose you're right. Excuse me." He can tell from the man's tone of voice that he doesn't believe his own nation at all, and just didn't want to get into an argument, so as he leaves, Finland calls after him,

"_Ludwig _is coming tomorrow as well! We're going to play chess."

"Is that so?" His boss sounds amused, which only serves to make Finland more annoyed.

{}}{{}

When Germany arrives the next day, Finland is still in a poor mood from his short talk with his boss. "Would you like to play another game? Maybe two to make up for my absence yesterday."

"I don't think I can play well today. Maybe another time." He replies, staring blankly out the window.

Ludwig frowns, and takes a few steps towards the Finn. "Is something the matter?"

"Have you ever wanted something as Ludwig that could be terrible for you as Germany?" It feels strange to be asking this of Germany, who isn't even half his age. He might even already know the answer, but just needs to hear it from someone else. To reassure himself.

"I think we all have times like that." He replies simply.

Despite Tino's insistence that he doesn't want to play, Ludwig finds the chess set in the drawer of the nightstand, and begins setting up the game, under the Finn's curious gaze. "What brought this on?"

"It- it's nothing, really." He flushes in embarrassment at actually being questioned. "My boss was just by yesterday, and we had a talk…"

"This has something to do with me, doesn't it?"

Tino nods, and then pauses and shakes his head. "It's about Germany, not Ludwig. My boss can't seem to tell the difference."

"I don't think anyone who isn't one of us really can." He smiles, and pats the empty bed encouragingly.

They play as many games as they can before the nurse returns to say visiting hours are over. As the taller nation turns to leave, Finland calls after him that he'll be released tomorrow, so he should take the set back.

"Keep it for now. I have to talk with you after, anyway."

Despite outward smiles and laughter after they were done talking about his boss, Germany knows that Finland isn't up to accepting any apologies just yet.

But the fact that he hasn't been able to give one yet hangs heavy in his chest.

{}}{{}

When Ludwig is able to find the time, he immediately sets out for Helsinki. He doesn't have to ask around too much to learn the location of the cheerful Tino Väinämöinen. Apparently he's rather popular with the locals.

When the Finn opens the door of his small home, his normally bright violet-blue eyes are clouded over, and rimmed with red. His mouth, which is turned into a mourning frown, exhales what seems to be the reek of vodka.

(Good. Finnish. Vodka. Damnit, he would later claim)

He's in a white, button-down shirt that's wrinkled, one sleeve rolled up to his elbow, the other hanging freely at his wrist. As well as a pair of dark brown pants, also a rumpled mess. His hair is an absolute jumble of strands flying every which way, and he just looks at a complete loss of self.

Without a word, he just throws his arms around the German's waist, and starts crying again, his muffled sobs making their way through the thick fabric of his jacket.

Ludwig is used to a sobbing Italy. And as rare as it is, he knows how to deal with his brother when he's miserable. But he's at a loss of what to do with Finland, who seems beyond depressed, and more than a little bit drunk. So he settles for something that usually works with Italy, and picks up the blond, and carries him into the living room.

"What happened at the meeting?" He asks gently, once the crying has quieted down a bit.

"Th-the bastards demanded Karelia. They wouldn't… they wouldn't take anything less. And my boss… that asshole agreed to it like it was no big deal!" His throat sounds tight again, and he looks about to burst into tears a second time, but instead, reaches for a clear bottle, and takes a hearty swig from it before Germany can even move to stop him.

"And Ivan. That… that _paskiainen _just sat there, _smiling_ like he'd won! He knew that if the war went on we'd lose, so he just kept on smiling. All of our efforts went into this, _we won_! And we still ended up being treated like the losers!"

"Listen, I know you're hurting a lot right now, but I really don't think that drinking will…"

"Shut up." He groans, reaching for the bottle again. "I don't really wanna hear it right now." He drinks again, and somehow, the once almost-full bottle is suddenly nearly half-gone.

Ludwig sees now as good a time as any, and hugs the Finn close. "I'm so sorry we didn't do anything to help you."

Tino brings up his arms to rest on Ludwig's shoulders, and clutches the fabric of his shirt. "Thank you." He whispers. "Even though it was in no way your fault."

"But we're allies, aren't we? We're supposed to help each other, and I could only sit idly by as you were fighting a power ten times your size!"

"Do you remember when I asked you if you'd ever wanted something as Ludwig that was bad for you as Germany?"

He's surprised at the random question, but nods anyway. "Yes, I remember."

"Well, Finland is furious at Germany for abandoning them in their time of need, and for their fascist government, and power-hungry ways."

Ludwig winces, knowing each accusation to be true.

"But _Tino_… Tino wants Ludwig to just forget about shouldering the blame for his nation's shortcomings and stop apologizing for things that are out of his control, because Tino thinks Ludwig is a really, really awesome friend and doesn't want to see him angry with himself."

This causes the German to pause, and blink in surprise. But before he could start feeling too great about being the one called awesome instead of Gilbert, Tino continued.

"Tino's also kind of annoyed at Alfred for promising him help, and then sending it to Norway because he's a directionally-challenged idiot who can't read a map."

Ludwig sighs, now convinced that Tino is just very, very drunk, and rambling.

"Maybe you should lie down." He suggests, stroking the blond's hair comfortingly. "You've been drinking a lot."

"Sure." Finland pushes himself to a standing position, and starts to walk clumsily down a hallway to his bedroom, Ludwig close behind, should he fall.

Once he's snuggled under the covers, he looks up at the German, eyes suddenly alert again. "You can stay if you want. Just make yourself at home, and maybe we can play chess or something when I wake up?"

"Of course." Ludwig smiles at the now-drifting-off nation, and turns to leave the room, something familiar catching his eye.

On a small table on the far side of the room, is the chess set, both sides neatly set up, and ready to play. There are two chairs, one on either side, and a plate of what appears to be a braided kind of coffee bread.

He could laugh out loud upon this sight, but doesn't for fear of waking the nation up. Tino had been waiting for him to show up this whole time. He probably even knew the reason for such a visit. He _is_ a perceptive person after all.

And that's more than he could ever need to hear from Finland, who has now shown him that he is forgiven. Without even being awake.

{}}+{{}

Thanks for reading~!

Ugh I still hate this ending! But I'll tolerate it because I like the rest of the story. This is sort of a sequel to Sisu, and as such, was the obvious choice for my entry in the Anime North fanfiction contest for 2012. But I didn't win anything this year.

Translations:  
Verzeih Mir - (German) - Forgive me  
Paskiainen - (Finnish) - Son of a bitch

Historical notes:  
-At the beginning of WWII, Germany and Finland were on decent terms, and even considered allies. Unfortunately, Finland and Russia were not. Even with the non-aggression pact, the Soviets were still prepared for Germany to betray them, likely to use Finland as a route straight to Moscow, and so invaded as a precaution. (Unfortunately, someone forgot to remind Stalin that it's really freaking cold in Finland.) The Germans decided to let it happen instead of breaking the pact before it was more benificial to them. (Don't worry, Finland gets his revenge)  
-The USA actually did promise the Finns some military aid for the Winter War. Not troops, just a few tanks and guns and such... it ended up in Norway two years after the war had ended. Apparently they can't read calendars either.


End file.
